You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
