She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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