im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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