My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
