ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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