you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
