i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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