i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
