I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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