He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
