The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
