flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
