Are we in a gay sports bar?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
