i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
