He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize