I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
