Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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