Got a toothbrush?
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
