I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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