So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
