mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize