90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
