hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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