hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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