The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
