I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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