Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
