Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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