he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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