Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
