Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I need a beard to bite.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
