Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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