Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
