I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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