This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
