so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
