You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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