I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
