I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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