My liver just broke up with me...
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
