i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize