Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
