i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
