I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize