We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize