You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
