Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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