it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
