Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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