after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize
