Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
