I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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