You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
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