But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
