Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
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