you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
