I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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