my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
