Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
