I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
