Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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