I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Randomize
