Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
