It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
cat food counts as protein by the way
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
