Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
