He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
