She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I would fuck him just for his dog
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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