..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
he thought i was a dude.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
