Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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