i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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