I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
