Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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