He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
